At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
