Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
