So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
