We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
