Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
