dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
