so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
