Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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