I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
