would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
