what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
