hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
