I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
