I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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