we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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