Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
