discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
