READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
