38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
