would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
