he told me I talked like a deaf person
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
