you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
