I need help removing her.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
