Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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