I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
