why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
