i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
