I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
