I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
