Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
