party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Couch. On fire.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
