Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
