She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you didnt know i had herpes?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
