Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
