I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
