i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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