Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
