talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
