I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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