Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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