It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
