then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
