I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
