puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
