sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
