We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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