Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
