i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
