This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
