At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
