I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
