The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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