you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
